#nofilterparenting ~ why I can’t leave my 2 children alone, even for 1 minute 


I am really trying to be positive at the moment, I’m trying to find positives in everyday.
* I refer to my daughter’s as Lou (5) and Moo (2) when blogging.
I just wanted to write a little bit about life at home, and also when out and about. My eldest daughter (5) felt deeply jealous towards her younger sister (2) even before she was born, we held out until I was 7 months pregnant before we told her she was going to be a big sister. When we brought our new baby home 2 years ago, we had to be on constant watch as Lou would try and rock the Moses basket vigoursly, her main focus became her baby sister and if I was holding the baby Lou would try and gain my attention in any way possible, often by throwing any objects she could get her hands on out of her bedroom. She would try and tug at her sisters tiny legs, it must have been so difficult for her to understand why this new baby was taking up so much of Mummy’s time. As Moo became less independent on me in terms of feeding I was able to have more time with just myself and Lou, and as parents we were slightly relieved when Moo became more ‘durable’ but still, every minute has to be watched as her big sister would try and roll her over and rough-house play not realising her strength or how much pressure she was putting onto her baby sister. We had to reinforce ‘gentle’ or ‘kind’ hands every day. I still, to this day, cannot leave the 2 girls alone, not even to use the bathroom!

There were a few times that this also had to be reinforced at Lou’s early years setting but she had been used to being around other children from 9 months old when I returned to work after maternity leave. I admit to being a ‘hovering’ or ‘Helicopter’ mum even now that Lou is 5 as I’m always worried that she may hurt another child but I do find that I’m relaxing a little more since she has started school.

With Moo about to start Pre School I do have to watch her closely now at stay and play groups or when mixing with other children as she is pushing other children and snatching toys away from them, she seems to always go for the face. In my theory I think that Moo is hitting out perhaps as she sees all other children as if they are about to hurt her (like she experiences at home,) she is doing this to say “don’t mess with me” perhaps.

At home Moo isn’t ‘Queen Bee’ or ‘.Top Dog,’ therefore in her own educational setting she is copying the behaviours at home that she experiences every day with her sister.

We are always observing Moo at groups and activities where there are other children, we hope that starting Pre School will benefit her greatly with the positive reinforcement of the staff, who have already taught her sister.

We use a method where we demonstrate ‘like a feather’ to Moo of how our hands are kind towards other people and gentle like a feather.

You can join The Lovely Mum Crowd here: 

www.thelovelymumcrowd.com
Which also links to their Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts. 

Thanks for reading 🙂 

#nofilterparenting ~ my submission for The Lovely Mum Crowd


I recently joined a fantastic network called The Lovely Mum crowd, a network that joins parents in their local area and also further a field. In the run up to Mother’s Day, The Lovely Mum Crowd has been asking for #nofilterparenting posts, or just a photo and a few words about experiences of parenting. I’ve written 2 and here’s the first! 

This time last year I admit I was struggling, I was at a loss and felt completely hopeless. 

When I found out in April 2016 that my daughter had additional needs, (even though I’d really known since she was 18 months,) I found myself being completely guilty of focusing on the things that she cannot do. 1 year on I do have a very different outlook, it has taken time to come to terms with, but via research, talking to other parents who’s children also have additional needs, and via professional advice from an Occupational Therapist I’ve really tuned into my daughter’s interests and this has had such a positive effect. 

I found out that my child is a ‘Sensory Seeker,’ and thrives on Messy or Sensory play experiences, her attention and concentration on these type of activities is much improved, she thrives on activities such as washing up liquid mixed with sand, Play Dough, rice and pasta play, and also craft activities its fantastic to see her so happy when absorbed in these experiences. 

I have also learnt to embrace my daughter’s ‘special interests’ and these provide much motivation, for example she loves The Trolls Movie and she’s an avid collector of ‘Shopkins,’ these objects make her happy and provide a great deal of motivation like the reward of getting some more Trolls stickers for her sticker collection book. 
We always used to find that school holidays were a struggle as my daughter thrives on the routine of school but by offering her a ‘Sensory Diet’ as advised by an Occupational Therapist, I now plan for a wide range of activities and experiences to allow for ‘Sensory seeking,’ which has the effect of making my daughter calmer at home. These could be seasonal craft activities, messy play experiences, time in the sensory (or calm area) that we’ve made under our stairs! And also set aside time for physical activity such as rolling on a big ball that looks very much like the ones used for Yoga! 
I no longer feel so desperate as I offer my daughter clear choices of activities to do at home, so I know it will be of benefit to her, I have been so inspired with Messy/Sensory Play and craft activities that I now share what we do via my own blog and I’m going to be volunteering at a local play therapy centre in hope of training to become a Play Therapist 🙂
You can join The Lovely Mum Crowd here: 

www.thelovelymumcrowd.com

Which also links to their Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts. 

Thanks for reading 🙂