A Sensory Diet 

My understanding of Sensory Processing. 

We all explore the world via our senses. The brain has a filter system that allows us to only pay attention to what is most important at that time. This filter may not work in the same way for some people. They may experience things differently,  as I always say: “My child sees the world differently.” This may lead to a ‘sensory overload’ due to experiencing many sensations all at once. In our case, a ‘sensory overload’ manifests itself as a ‘meltdown,’ where items are throw, hitting out, screaming and unable to cope with the current situation. We remove Lou to a safe and calm place, she has a ‘calm tent’ where she can access cushions,  blankets and her calming sensory toys.

As we know the senses are:

▪ Sight

▪ Sound

▪ Smell

▪ Taste

But there are also senses related more directly to movement:

▪ Vestibular – sense of balance and position of the head.

▪ Tactile – sense of touch.

▪ Proprioception – our sense of body position, pressure, movement.
There are people who are ‘Hypo’ (under sensitive) and be seen as a ‘sensory avoider. ‘ on the opposite side, some people may be ‘Hyper’ (over sensitive) or seen as a ‘sensory seeker.’ In my experience, Lou is on the whole a ‘seeker’ – although has some ‘avoider’ tendencies, e.g dislikes showers, swimming and having hair brushed amongst others!

What is a Sensory Diet? 

A sensory diet is a planned scheduled activity programme that is designed to meet a child’s sensory needs. This can change over time as the child’s behaviour changes. The application of the sensory diet is used both as a treatment strategy and also to prevent behaviour challenges. A sensory diet is important just as it is to have a balanced food diet, we need a balance amount of sensory information to allow our bodies to function. The sensory diet with aid a child to self regulate their behaviour, emotions and attention.

The benefits of using a balanced sensory diet are:

▪ To handle changes/transions with less stress.

▪ To reduce sensory seeking and avoiding – in particular unwanted behaviours.

▪ To help increase attention, alertness and emotions.

This sensory checklist from ‘Raising a Sensory Smart Child,’ © Biel & Peske, 2005,

Will allow parents to see what specific areas can be worked on in terms of sensory diet experiences, this can be found here:

www.sensorysmarts.com

(Click ‘Sensory Checklist.’)

In terms of this checklist in our personal experience:

Touch:

Lou on the whole, for touch is a definite avoider, she particularly dislikes clothing seems, and takes her socks off moments after having them on! She wears leggings and soft T-Shirts everyday. Lou is not a fan at all, of the shower, having her hair washed or brushed. Although, the exception to touch is that she is a seeker in terms of messy hands,  face, others parts such as legs. In materials such as glue, paint, lotion, sand etc. She thrives on these type of activities.

Proprioception: (body sense) 

Lou is a seeker in all movement, such as rough housing, jumping, climbing, etc. She is a risk taker and thrives on impulsive and risky actions, for example, jumping off steps at height, she literally has no fear! Lou prefers dry, crunchy foods,  she isn’t keen on soft textured or runny foods,  especially sauces.

Vestibular: (movement sense)

In terms of balancing, riding equipment, spinning, climbing – especially stairs, Lou is a definite seeker. She enjoys being lifted up in the air and twisted down so her head is facing the floor! She also enjoys bring twirled around by an adult.

Listening/Auditory:

Lou comes across as loud, she talks loudly and will create her own sounds to mask other louder sounds, for example, when Moo was a tiny baby crying, the hoover, motorbikes passing by,  etc. She isn’t keen at all on sudden unexpected noises, and can hear sounds far away that I can’t even hear! E.g aeroplanes,  grass cutters, if Lou has been in a loud environment with a lot going on, she may try and escape, e.g a sports hall, or hold in her sensory overloads until she reaches the safe place of home and will often have a meltdown. Lou made sounds whilst she ate even from 6 months old, when she first started eating sold foods, this came out as humming. She still does this humming and now sings whilst concentrating at an activity and when eating.

Looking/Vision: 

Lou has a ‘thing’ about screens, e.g an ipad. She used to be more into the TV but lately she gets absolutely absorbed in the ipad, in fact this is the only time she isn’t moving or talking! Lou has been interested in colours from an early age, she enjoys watching her gel droppers, rainbow projector and goes to sleep with her bubble tube on, which projects changing colours onto her ceiling. Lou dislikes the dark, she will always have a light on somewhere at bedtime, or she can’t settle.

Taste/smell/oral comforts: 

Lou smells everything – play dough,  new toys, books etc. She will notice a change in perfume and often says: “what’s that smell?” It may be a new air freshener or that something is cooking. Lou will chew on toys, and will try and get Moo’s dummy to chew on! She now has a safe Chewigen bracelet and necklace if she has the need to chew. These were from: http://chewigem.co.uk/

Sensory diet activity ideas:

Touch/deep pressure:

Swaddling

– Bear hugs

– Massage with or without lotion

– Joint compressions

– Therapy brushing

– Jump on cash pad – can always be homemade with sofa cushions and pillows.

– Hand fidgets

– Mixing cake ingredients

– Vibrating toys – we have a vibrating neck cushion.

– ‘Messy play:  Finger paints, glitter glue, soapy foam/shaving foam, whipped cream, custard play.  Spaghetti cooked or dry, rice dyed with food colouring, sand play, play dough,  Gelli Baff, Magic Snow, Gak, clay.

– Helping with gardening

Cornflour, water and pink food colouring
Sand painting – mixed with PVA glue and paint
Foamy sand – sand mixed with water and washing up liquid
Cooked Spaghetti play
Coloured rice – using pink food colouring
Soapy foam (Olaf) bought from a supermarket, gentler than shaving foam for children’s skin. As both Lou and Moo have dry skin.
Vibrating neck cushion, Lou likes to use around her arms or waist
‘Fiddle toys’ from Learning SPACE, including stretchy men, dinosaur, butterflies, stretchy Spaghetti, etc

Movement/Proprioception:

– Rocking – in arms, rocking horse or chair.

– Running, marching, dancing, jumping.

– Bunny hops, wheelbarrow walk, animals walks.

– Monkey bars

– Climbing stairs

– Climbing ladders

– Trampoline jumping

– Use a ‘Sit and Spin.’ Or other spinning toy.

– Therapy ball – we have a ‘Peanut ball.’

– Swimming

– Brain Gym and Yoga exercises

– Balloon tennis

– Hopscotch

Using her Peanut ball, independently or it came with ideas for exercises with children. 


Listening/Auditory: 
-Listening to favourite music

– Calming (classical music)

– Bang pots and pans

– Musical instruments

– Listening to outdoor/nature sounds (have a phone app)

– Singing, humming, blowing whistles

– White noise (phone App)

– use headphones or sound cancelling headphones

– Use a safe space with quiet and low light – ‘calm tent’

Music session with mummy, exploring the instruments

Looking/Vision: 

– Lava lamps, bubble lamps

– Coloured light bulbs

– Toys in opaque containers

– Look at photos

– Look at picture books

– Look at nature – fish tanks, farm, zoo, seaside

– Games and activities that develop visual skills,  mazes, dot-to-dot, I Spy, etc.

‘Rainbow in my room’ projector from Learning SPACE
Bubble tube from Learning SPACE, I filled with Distilled water. Includes some fish and balls to put inside tube. Changes to various colours and projects onto ceiling.
Gel droppers which are inside the ‘calm tent’ 

Smell/taste/oral comforts: 

– Essential oils and scented candles

– Smell flowers

– Smell herbs and spices

– Blindfold smelling game

– Explore tastes: sweet, sour, salty, spicy, bitter

– Eat frozen, cool, warm foods

– Bubble blowing

– Use an age appropriate ‘Chewy’

Banana scented dough

A lot of Lou’s sensory equipmemt and toys came from ‘Leaning SPACE.’ Ordered online here: http://www.learningspaceuk.co.uk/

The products are reasonably priced and we received a prompt delivery, I will be ordering more for Christmas this year!

Through starting to use the sensory diet approach for the past month, I’ve already noticed that whilst absorbed in these activities, Lou is calmer and focused. She will often create her own opportunities, even if I haven’t provided them. For example, she will find a wet chalk outside and rub it into the concrete slabs to feel the texture on her hand. She is also always seeking for water play, she fills the sink and will explore soap – I do have to keep an eye on this as she does like to flood my bathroom!
It may be easier to put sensory diet ideas and activities into a chart of plan to clearly see whats to be worked on. Examples can be quite simple:

Source: Google search: ‘sensory diet plans.’ 

Or a little more detailed:

Source: Google search: ‘sensory diet plans.’ 

I am currently working on a sensory diet plan for Lou over the next few weeks as she transitions from ending Pre School to the 6 week holidays, in preparation for starting ‘big school,’ in September!

Thanks for reading 🙂

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PDA part 2!

Wow how much I missed in my last post about our experiences of ODD and PDA!
The following article popped up on my news feed this morning:
www.autism.org.uk – What is PDA?

Cue doing what I do best and scoring Lou against the PDA ticklist from the PDA Society and printing off the relevant information for her Paediatrician, I think I’m in ‘fighting mummy’ mode and “What have I got to lose?!”

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Source: http://www.pdasociety.org.uk
For children a score of 50 and over…

“Identifies individuals with an elevated risk of having a profile consistent with PDA.”

Lou scored 68!

I’ve found out so much more from the article from the National Autistic Society (NAS,)
I think it’s probably easier to bullet point what I’ve read in terms of our current situation with Lou:

● PDA is anxiety based on a need to be in control – feel secure when in control.
● Boys and girls can be equally effected, unlike Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome.
● PDA presents as controlling and dominating. Lou controls every situation, e.g up and down the stairs “I have to be first,” first to dress, first to finishing eating, will get distressed if I finish my lunch before her saying: “I wanted to be the winner.”
● In the PDA Society Booklet ‘Awareness Matters,’ it talks about children who “put on a performance, hiding all of their difficulties, for limited periods of time,” it does on to say that the people who spend most time with these children,  ie parents, notice their problems more.
● I’ve been noticing so much lately about the way in which Lou talks to us as adults, I find it quite rude and bossy. Children with PDA are often seen as ‘mini adults,’ Lou has said to me frequent times, (especially when she’s angry,) that “Mummy you are the child and I’m the adult.” Only yesterday she demanded that I “get up and get some food, now!” When I explained that this isn’t how we should ask for something she counted from 1 to 10 several times then told me to “go onto time out – NOW!” Which is the counting for processing time that we offer as parents when asking her to do something.
● Lou will tell other children how to behave but often doesn’t apply the rules to herself. E.g “you need to hold your mummies hand when crossing the road,” but she doesn’t do it herself.
● Lou will often talk in an adult way, using adult manorisms, for example, she will tell other children off, especially Moo saying “look at my face, good listening now, or its ‘Time out!’
● Lou will often blame other children for her actions,  for example she said “Billy did it” after she drew on her trousers with pen. (Name has been changed.)
● Lou will deny actions even if she’s caught red handed, for example, if a book has been ripped she’ll say “Moo did it” even if she’s been asleep upstairs or sat in a high chair nowhere near!
● Lou will show little shame or embarrassment if she throws a tantrum in public, she will not be bothered by people starting or commenting if she’s rolling around having a tantrum on a supermarket floor! It’s taken me a long time to cope with the stares and comments!
● In order to avoid a demand or request, Lou will answer politely: “No thank you,” and often says “I’ve got a sore back,” “my leg hurts.” Or “I’ve got a headache,” to avoid doing something.
● Eye contact – Lou generally uses eye contact especially if things are going her way, although she never uses eye contact when asking her to do something, often making it look like she hasn’t heard us. We have arranged for her to have a hearing test in July to rule out any hearing problems, but deep down I just know that she’s hearing us, but choosing not to listen.
● Links to SPD – another light bulb moment when I read that PDA has links to sensory difficulties in processing information in terms of light, sound,  smell, taste and touch.  This can also have an effect on Proprioception difficulties (bodily awareness) and vestibular awareness (balance.) I have had concerns about Lou’s spatial awareness and the amount of accidents she has and appears clumsy.
● Severe behavioural difficulties can be present,  can have problems controlling temper, and many people can appear passive and compliant at school, but appear very anxious at home. This describes Lou perfectly!

So where do we go now?
I’m currently testing some strategies that involve:

“a less directive and more flexible approach,” http://www.autism.org.uk

Only this morning we have tried an approach where we offer choices if Lou cannot cope with being asked to “get dressed” we then said “we’re going to leave your clothes here, you can get dressed or we’ll get Moo sorted first.
‘First’ being the operative word, make Lou spring up and collect the clothes saying: “I’ll get dressed now!”

I had used a more wordy but subtle approach with Lou last week after she demanded we go to the park and was scrutinised for “letting her control me” and “not being tough enough with her,” making me think whatever I do I’ll be judged! This is why I’m constantly researching as knowledge = understanding (which I bang on about!) But I just wish everyone could understand!

Further information.
I found that advice in getting a PDA can be found at:
www.norscaca.org.uk
At the Elizabeth Newson Centre (Autism East Midlands.)

I’m going to email for more information at

http://diagnostic-centre@autismeastmidlands.org.uk

Thanks for reading 🙂

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Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

Research Series:
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Pathological Demand Avoidance  (PDA.)

When researching ADHD, ASD and SPD I have come across ODD and PDA, particularly PDA I’ve seen a lot about recently.  I’ve not come across either of these in my childcare career, so I was keen to find out more. I’m no expert and I’m definitely not a Paediatrician! But Lou does almost tick every box of the symptoms for both, but particularly PDA. I was confused before about why she was acting in such ways and this does explain a lot. I’ve been particularly worried lately regarding Lou’s behaviour at home and recently re – referred to Family Support via a local Children’s Centre.

ODD.

Symptoms of ODD may include:

• Throwing repeated temper tantrums
• Excessively arguing with adults
• Actively refusing to comply with requests and rules
• Deliberately trying to annoy or upset others, or being easily annoyed by others
• Blaming others for your mistakes
• Having frequent outbursts of anger and resentment
• Being spiteful and seeking revenge
• Swearing or using obscene language
• Saying mean and hateful things when upset

ODD often occurs with those that have ADHD.

Source: www.webmd.boots.com

From reading these symptoms I could immediately relate to what we are currently experiencing at home.
– Lou throws up to 10 temper tantrums per day.
– She will argue with myself and partner and even pushes boundaries with my dad – who to this day I wouldn’t!
– Any requests or rules Lou is given she will usually ignore and point blank refuse. For example: “Pyjamas on” response = “no” or completely ignores and/or runs away.
– Lou will deliberately annoy and pester Moo, which she does for the majority of the day, Lou is equally annoyed if Moo enters her person space and she will usually push her away.
– Lou has anger outbursts frequently throughout the day, she will scrunch her fists together and growl loudly. Sometimes she will say “I’m really cross.” She will then often throw objects,  especially toys.
– Lou can be quite spiteful, if she’s been refused something such as food (if she’s already eaten plenty,) she will say things like “I’m going to climb over the stairgate and get it myself.” This is said in a forceful and angry manner. She will often say things like “I’m going to pick this up and hit you” if she doesn’t want to go to bed.
– We try our upmost to ensure that our children are not exposed to those who swear, which has caused a bit if controversy! But it’s for their best interests,  I don’t want Lou repeating this language, which she doesn’t understand.
– As discussed, Lou will often say hurtful things when she’s upset, these can be: “I hate you,” “don’t even look at me.”

PDA.

When looking up PDA I found the PDA society website (link below) most helpful.

People with Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome (PDA) will avoid demands made by others, due to their high anxiety levels when they feel that they are not in control.

PDA is increasingly recognised as part of the autism spectrum.

Many children avoid demands to some extent, but children with PDA do so to a far greater level than is considered usual. This is why it is called pathological.

The main features of PDA are:

• Obsessively resisting ordinary demands
• Appearing sociable on the surface but lacking depth in their understanding (often recognised by parents early on)
• Excessive mood swings, often switching suddenly
• Comfortable (sometimes to an extreme extent) in role play and pretending
• Language delay, seemingly as a result of passivity, but often with a good degree of ‘catch-up’
• Obsessive behaviour, often focused on people rather than things.

Many parents describe their child with PDA as a ‘Jekyll and Hyde’. Many parents of children with PDA feel that they have been wrongly accused of poor parenting through lack of understanding about the condition. These parents will need a lot of support themselves, as their children can often present severe behavioural challenges.

Source: www.pdasociety.org.uk

Many children with ASC/PDA can behave very differently with different people and in different situations.  They may be able to sufficiently hide their difficulties within the school setting and in other setting such as when visiting relatives or going to a friends house.  This can cause real difficulties for the parents because may often feel not believed, not listened to and unsupported by professionals, friends and family members.  Also this ability to mask is often at the expense of behaviour at home where the child will release this pent up anxiety.

Source: pdaguidance.wordpress.com
This article also has links to relevant information on PDA.

When reading about PDA it was like a ‘light bulb’ moment,  I’m still currently struggling to define between Lou’s difficult behaviour being due to a sensory issue or just defiant behaviour like maybe another 4 year old may also experience?

In relation to the PDA symptoms:
– Lou resists almost every ordinary demand or request (as discussed for ODD,) I find it difficult as to why she laughs and smiles when refusing to hold onto the pushchair when walking next to the road, or when she laughs and runs away wanting to be chased when it’s time to leave the park.
– Lou is very sociable, I’ve discussed in previous posts how she’s friendly to everyone and anyone, she is able to use language to impress, she copies a lot of my language and seems to be ‘an old head on young shoulders’ although she doesn’t always understand what she is saying.
– Lou has definite mood swings, she can go from really happy to angry in a few seconds. She gets extremely frustrated if things do not go her way, for example,  if she can’t get clothes off her dolls, she will fight to do it and make grunts and screams instead of asking for help. Lou will go from rolling around on the floor in full meltdown mode, to saying “I’m calm now” only a minute later!
– Lou absolutely loves role play and she will pretend to be ‘Princess Anna’ and ‘Queen Elsa,’ she talks to herself a lot and will repeat phrases she’s heard from role playing with other children. I would say that Lou does live in a bit of a fantasy world, and I can relate to this totally! I used to create senarios where I was a certain character, I was obsessed in fantasy films, and books and still am to this day!
– Lou is obsessed in Moo, she simply cannot leave her alone! If she can hear that Moo is awake from a nap she rushes upstairs full steam ahead! If they are in a room together she has to sit right next to Moo, almost sitting on top of her!

I was interested to read the article: ‘Child masks difficulties in school’ (link above,) I immediately thought “this is Lou” the fact that children with PDA can behave differently in different situations is fascinating, this is my child! Lou masks her difficulties in her childcare setting, she is better at people’s houses like my parents,  but still shows some difficulties. If I am present her behaviour is more extreme, Lou will release her anxieties from the day as soon as she reaches home. This is the reason that I’ve been fighting since Lou was 18 months old, as it has been our parenting skills that have been scrutinised constantly. I have discussed this frustration many times through previous Blog posts, and so to receive reassurance through articles, puts my mind at rest. We are extremely lucky that Lou’s new school for September are completely on board and recognise that support can be given at school so that her time at home will hopefully be more positive. I was so relieved to hear this and very greatful !

This research has proved to me even more than every behaviour has a reason, this has helped me to understand Lou more and proves to me even more that ‘research is key, knowledge is understanding.’

 

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 A girl after my own heart! “Mummy I’m just reading this story!”

Thanks for reading 🙂

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Extreme Jealousy

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Research series
Our experiences of sibling jealousy or Rivalry.

Sibling Rivalry
What is sibling rivalry?
“Sibling rivalry is the jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and sisters.  It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. Problems often start right after the birth of the second child.”

Source:

www.med.umich.edu

We didn’t tell Lou she was going to be a big sister until I was noticeably pregnant. At about 6 months pregnant we broke the news and soon noticed a change in her behaviour. Until Moo’s birth in March 2015 Lou was the only grandchild on my side, she was the apple of everyone’s eye and was used to an audience of people with their undivided attention on her.

When Moo was born Lou had little interest in looking at her when we first brought her home. Lou was given ‘Big Sister’ T- shirts and cards to make her special. People would ask her “have you got a baby sister?” “Are you a big sister?” And “what’s your baby sister’s name? Lou would change the subject and talk about something entirely different. Sometimes she would say “baby” but she wouldn’t say her actual name for at least 6 months after her birth. Lou’s behaviour at home was tricky, she would rock the moses basket rigorously and attempt to tip over the bouncer chair that Moo was sitting in. I literally couldn’t take my eyes off them for a second. Lou started to get angry and throw objects so I’d have to shut myself and Moo inside another room behind a stair gate. I would need to watch carefully as Lou would try and grab Moo’s tiny leg if I walked past with her. I tried everything to include her with helping with bathing and getting Moo dressed, fetching nappies etc, and helping to give a bottle, but there was little or no interest. I was told that Lou has started to draw her family, she said “there’s mummy, there’s daddy and that’s Maisie Moo” – finally saying her name, Moo was drawn in black and myself, daddy and Amber were coloured blue. Lou was toilet trained before Moo was born but she did regress once Moo arrived, she wanted to have a nappy on and be “changed like a baby” as she said. We also would get the sitting down in the middle of the path as there was jealousy of Moo being in a pushchair and Lou was a big girl walking. Not even the addition of a buggy board would convince her!

I did wonder if Lou would get better once she realised Moo was here to stay! She would try and sit across people that were holding Moo, even though everyone was careful to ensure that Lou wasn’t left out. She would say “my mummy” if I was giving Moo a cuddle or a bottle and would launch the bottle away across the room. When Moo got to the age where she started crawling I’d have to act as a referee as Lou would try and pull her legs and flip her over. She wouldn’t have a clue that she was hurting her sister, even if Moo cried. Once Moo started walking I’d hope the situation would improve but the rough-housing seems to be more frequent. I will start a game and Lou will just randomly try and pick Moo up and wants to drop her, I’m unsure what her motive with this is as if I try and talk about her feelings on hurting Moo she will change the subject onto something completely different.

It is heart melting to see some great sibling moments and we really praise for times like these, Lou has a kindness towards Moo which I’m trying to build on more each day, she will break a biscuit in half and say “look mummy I shared!” I am also building on a special time of each day where I have quality 1:1 time with Lou, usually during Moo’s nap time, where I have been including activities for Lou’s ‘Sensory Diet’ including a lot of tactile and messy play. I am currently going through having to reassure Moo when Lou approaches her as she is afraid that she’s going to get hurt if she even goes near her as it’s happening so frequently, I don’t want Moo to be afraid of her sibling so I’m working on Lou using ‘kind hands’ all the time. We are still in the early stages of this. It is with great hope that the 2 girls will grow to have a positive sibling relationship we hope they can eventually share a room without Lou constantly waking Moo up! I’ve had people ask me if they think that Lou’s difficulties wouldn’t be so prominent if we’d decided to have Moo later than a 3 year gap, I was quiet taken aback, but I do think the longer Lou would have had with us and the family alone, then the harder she would have found it to accept Moo as a part of the family. I just think she’s a child who finds it difficult to share us.

I found that ‘The Sibling Support Project’ provides support for siblings of children with health, developmental and mental health concerns:

www.siblingsupport.org

I also sourced some books about having a new baby in the family from our local library, which can also been bought online, such as from Amazon:

New baby book

New baby book

And a book for parents – another to add to my wish list which us ever – growing!

Sibling Rivary

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Spectrum Sunday

“Mummy I’m hungry”

Research series:
Aspects of Sensory Processing Disorder.

I have wondered now for over a year how a 4 year old child could be hungry for what seems every minute of the day!
Most mornings Lou has already eaten more than me by 10 am!  A bowl of cereal at 6am, a banana, toast,  raisins etc! I try to offer the most healthy options I can but it’s so hard when Lou is a dry and beige food lover! I couldn’t understand why Lou is forever saying “I’m hungry,” I wondered if it was boredom but I then researched if it could be some connection to her Sensory Processing Disorder. I found out that fact we have 8 senses, the usual: taste, touch, hear, see and smell. But there is also proprioception and vestibular and an internal sense called interoception.

Interoception is a relatively unheard of sensory system. It is the sense responsible for detecting internal regulation responses, such as respiration, hunger, heart rate, and the need for digestive elimination.

From:

SPD Life

This means that Lou literally cannot regulate her hunger, she never feels full and therefore doesn’t feel satisfied that she’s eaten enough. When I spoke to my mum about this she said that I had this problem too as a child, I had a few weight issues until I was about 14 then went through a period where I ate hardly anything due to a social pressure of looking thin as a teenager. From the age of 21 my weight started to rise again and then even more after having 2 children! I have lost 3 stone since Moo’s birth in March 2015, but I am still struggling to feel full and I often see myself as greedy. As an adult I can self regulate and will tell myself that enough us enough, but at 4 years old Lou won’t have this self control yet. Luckily diets such as Slimming World help me to keep a control on my weight and I’ve still got a way to go.
I do worry about Lou’s weight and she is just like me as a child – solid and tall for her age – she is currently in age 6 to 7 years clothes!

Unfortunately Lou is not a fan of many vegetables especially potato, she’s not keen on pasta either, the all important filling foods! I am currently trialling using a sectioned plate as if certain foods aren’t touching she will eat them, she doesn’t like sauces but is a massive fan of chicken! She would literally eat the same thing everyday if she could!

The only thing other than this I can do is to continue to offer a variety of fruits and vegetables as she may find that she likes them,  up until a few months ago Lou would only eat bananas, now she will try apples, pineapple and sometimes satsuma. I will also wait in anticipation for this Occupational Therapy appointment that Lou has now been waiting for since October 2015!

Some people may think that I adhere to Lou as a ‘fussy eater’ but I’d say it’s not being ‘fussy’ it’s Sensory Processing Disorder 🙂 And awareness is key to understanding her needs.

Thanks for reading 🙂


Attachment difficulties

Research series:
Attachment difficulties in relation to our experiences.

I am currently researching various difficulties that relate to our experiences that will help me understand Lou more. But also to enhance my knowledge and understanding of SEND in general to help with future job roles when I return to work. I am completing an online course in ‘Understanding Autism, Asperger’s and ADHD through The University of Derby via http://www.canvas.net

Here I will start with discussing ‘Attachment Difficulties’ :
I hadn’t really thought of Lou as having any sort if attachment difficulty until recently. When piecing it all together and reading up on the subject I’ve realised how it relates to our experiences. I was worried when I first started reading (as I do worry at lot!) That this meant that I didn’t bond with Lou as a baby, I had been asked this during an appointment with a professional when I first started to seek help for Lou’s behaviours at home. But then I thought – of course we bonded, Lou has never been one for cuddling and I’ve been told that from about the age of 6 months I would shy away from physical affection. Lou likes to be cuddled on her own terms and if she doesn’t want to be cuddled at that moment she will squirm away! When unexpected cuddles do happen it’s a massive squeeze! I have looked at attachment theory after a few discussions with professionals that work with Lou I was given a book to read called:

Observing Children with Attachment Difficulties in Preschool Settings

by Kim S. Goulding et al. The observational checklist from this book is most helpful and it was suggested that I should take this along to Lou’s next appointment with her Paediatrician as it may explain some of the emotional issues that Lou displays.

Lou has a great sense of humour, her laugh is infectious but I have described her as ‘Jekyll and Hyde,’ she can switch from being extremely happy to very angry in a second and back again minutes later. Lou has trouble controlling her emotions so I do my best to help her label how she’s feeling, especially by using visual cards which display various emotions. If she is having an angry outburst which could have stemmed from me going upstairs without her, we have certain methods to help calm, such as getting her favourite teddy and squeezing it hard, lying flat on the floor and breathing in and out whilst counting to 10.

From using the Observational checklist I noticed a pattern that Lou is secure at parting from me when I drop her off at her Early Years setting, she is happy to go off in the mornings and quite happy to go and explore what’s on offer. She will run at me with great pace at the end of the day when I collect her! Lou was used to being left at a childminder and nursery when I returned to work full time when she was only 10 months old. She cried for a week when I left her at nursery but since then she’s never had a problem parting from me. Lou’s attachment difficulties happen at home or in public, or even at her grandparent’s house. In fact, it happens where ever I am! I am unsure of the reasoning why but whenever I am present, Lou’s behaviour is worse, especially if I am present with her younger sister Moo. I was talking to someone about this as it seems to me that Lou has issues around me as she knows that I carried Moo and brought her into our family. Please see my further post on ‘Extreme Jealousy’ for more on this.

A typical day at home is Lou following my every move, she dislikes being in a room on her own. This also happens at her grandparent’s – if she is left downstairs – even if I’ve only popped upstairs to collect something for a second, she will have a major meltdown. If we move up or down the stairs she has to be in front everytime or this will cause another meltdown. Lou will be unable to productively play with toys if Moo is in the room, she is majorly distracted by her and will just want to rough-house and roll her over! Lou will be unable to play with any toys without adult guidance. She is very demanding of attention and will give comands such as “come here now” and comes over very bossy! Lou likes to control her environment, she likes to control what Moo is doing and often snatch toys away from her. Lou loves the outdoors, but she will not feel settled out there in her own, if an adult is outside she will quite happily explore, play in the sand pit or on her bike. I had an example of Lou’s impulsive behaviour if she’s detached from me only today, where I had to get out at a petrol station and she thought I was going inside without her, so she broke out of her car seat and flew open the car door, and jumped onto the forcourt not seeing any dangers like cars around. She has run off from my parents at the same garage before and we are still unable to explain really why she does this.

The section in the Observational Checklist about how the child behaves with unfamiliar adults was really interesting as she is overly affectionate and gets right up in people’s faces, she will sit next to people on the bus and say: “Are you my nanny? Can I come to your house?” She also is very inquisitive and has no filter, she will say things ‘as it is!’ She asks her Aunt everytime she sees her: “why have you got funny teeth!?” Lou gets very anxious when she knows that we’re going somewhere, especially if it’s somewhere new. She requires a lot of reassurance and the use of a visual timetable, if she is worried about going somewhere she will usually run around the living room in circles or hurt her sister. She also completely surprises us with her reactions as they are not always what you’d expect them to be! As Lou is a sensory seeker, she was quite happy to watch the needles for both her Pre School injections and a recent blood test and didn’t even flinch! Yet even I can’t watch!

Lou’s behaviour around me can be fascinating especially in a situation where I would lead a class with her present, she simply couldn’t handle it and will do anything she can to gain my attention away from other children. She would sabotage my weekly music sessions by taking my equipment or crawling around the floor, although won’t display this behaviour if I wasn’t present in the room. After the session Lou will say to me: “Oh Mummy, why do you have to come to my Preschool to do music?!” I must admit there have been lots of times when I’ve wondered if I’m to blame for all this, as soon as I’m in the equation Lou steps up with the difficult behaviours, I’ve felt like a failure and cried over it many times. After 2 very successful parenting courses through Wychavon Early Help (Pershore) I have gained confidence and tell myself “it’s not my fault.” I found that the Triple P parenting course and Family Links were most beneficial as they allowed me to also talk to other parents who experience the same. We were also given support of ‘Protective Behaviours’ for Lou, due to her unawareness of ‘Stranger Danger,’ I’ve had to discuss that it’s OK to say hello and to be friendly, but also had to ensure that Lou isn’t too trusting so that she would happily go off with a stranger and this will have to be revistied as she gets older.

I do find it very helpful to research what makes this ‘loveable little rogue’ tick 🙂

Further information and links:

Observing Children with Attachment difficulties

Simply Psychology

Wychavon Early Help

Family Links

Triple P Parenting

Spectrum Sunday